TEAM HALKEGENIA: WORLD POLICE
by GrumpyGrue
Summary: Gary Johnston, superstar actor and certified butt kicker is part of TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE. Put into a world where might means right more than he has ever seen, he must make a decision. Bring it into a new age of freedom, or allow it to stagnate under oppressive, and ineffective rule. Why do these nobles test his gangsta?


Beginning Author note: If I try single spacing, half the text appears as bold when I post or update. If I try double spacing, it reverts into one huge block of text if I edit it within word and upload it, or saving it on this website using the copy-paste/edit function. Got any ideas? I found only unhelpful forum topics. I tried uploading it in different text formats too.

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"RABBLE RABBLE! WHERE IS GARY?! WE WANT GARY!"

Mr. Director was very displeased. He sighed and rubbed his temples in frustration. Why did his finest actor disappear in the middle of the play? Gary was professional. Absence or tardiness never was a problem.

Gary is the best actor Mr. Director ever worked with. Though the understudy is amazing, he had nowhere near as much talent. Chaos ensued behind-curtains as the play-going crowd stood up at their announcement of Gary's absence. They became unruly; which has never happened in his decades of directing. He and his colleagues have dealt with some booing, but nothing like this.

"DAMMIT! GOATS ARE NOT A GOOD SUBSTITUTE FOR FIRE EXTINGUISHERS! APOCALYPSE WOMAN! STOP DOOMSDAY PREACHING! SUICIDE MAN! NO SUICIDE!"

The (dead?) man in the noose fell to the floor, then sat up. "What if I had died?! The play I worked so hard on is ruined! This play has left me in despair!"

He received a slap to the face. "Sorry boss."

"SEARCH TEAMS, KEEP LOOKING!"

Beyond the red curtains, the crowd grew restless. A rancid tomato, apple/orange peel vendor in the theater became rich from selling his wares at the right place, at the right time.

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_In another galaxy far far away…_

Gary fell from above, landing on some grass and rolling to minimize injury. He glanced at his surroundings and thought to himself.

[What just happened? I stepped outside for cool night air, and saw a green oval. It dragged me into itself, even though I held the dry dumpster handle tightly…with coarse leather gloves.

Who are all these people? Where am I? My cell phone has no reception here.

There are two moons in the sky, strange creatures that move in a way that most modern machines do not replicate…I am probably not on a different set, being tested as an actor. Maybe a cult or fan group drugged and kidnapped me. Pulling me away from the middle of my play means serious business. That and they might be assholes.]

Gary stood and intently listened in order to decipher the language the people were speaking. It sounds like an archaic mix of several languages he had studied. Though he was fluent in 26 world languages, he was unsure how to proceed with anything but testing spoken languages, or using sign language.

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Louise rubbed her eyes. A gorgeous man wearing black leather jacket, black pants of unidentifiable material, polished black shoes, and a blue shirt with white stripes (or is it white with blue stripes?) appeared in the clearing dust of her explosion. He had brown hair, blue eyes, and was on the tall side. She guessed that he had muscle bulk, underneath his concealing garb. She looked over at Kirche, who winking and doing sexy poses at the man. Louise's eye twitched.

The well-dressed stranger did not lower his eyes when he glanced at them, nor bowed or inclined his head. So she assumed that he was a noble. Hoooolllyyy Brimir. She can't accept a noble.

She would be shocked at taking a plebian for a familiar, but would do it for necessity of not getting expelled for screwing up a sacred ritual. No mage is complete without a familiar.

Professor Colbert gripped Louise gently on the shoulder:

"Do not despair for this strange twist of fate…yet. In my experience, I learned that appearances can be deceiving. We will figure this out."

Colbert used a translation spell and explained the spell to the man. Very plot convenient those things.

Gary felt bewildered, "Who are you people? Where am I and why have you brought me here? What drugs have you fed me? Magic, dragons, and other things I see here do not exist in reality."

Louise was raging within. She summoned a crazy commoner for a familiar…

"**WE FED YOU NOTHING PLEBIAN! YOU MUST BE ON DRUGS OR DROPPED ON YOUR HEAD TO THINK THAT MAGIC DOES NOT EXIST! YOU IDIOT DOG! THIS PLACE IS RENOWNED! IT…!**

Colbert shushed Louise. She reluctantly shut up out of her respect for teacher's authority.

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More civil discussion between Colbert and Gary went to different topics. The current location and nearby countries, job backgrounds (they kept some things secret. Their side-jobs and past jobs), and their names were discussed. They are having meticulous discussion over the familiar contract. Colbert intends to keep the magic rune binding and its brainwashing effect a secret from Gary, but he let slip the vital part that would deter Gary from accepting willingly.

Through a series of events, that Gary improvised, he managed to worm the "_fine print_" and some general information out of his kidnappers using his talented acting. In one instance, he pretended to be excited to see Kirche's summoned salamander. He asked how they managed to control such a strong, fiery creature. Colbert felt that it was duty to educate, and told Gary everything…

"Mr. Colbert, I am having fun and charitably contributing in my acting career. I have a family and friends back where I was from. I can do much more good with my life if I am not relegated to a lifelong contract of "_bodyguard, butler, and gatherer duty_" for some angry girl I just met. Especially with "magical runes" that sap one's free will. I prize my liberty very highly.

I will be getting back to those I care about."

"We can't send you back. The summoning is one-way."

"That's fine. I'll walk." [Even though I have no idea where I am, I might be able to find the local authorities and let them know about these crazies.]

"We are not letting you go Mr. Johnston. This is a sacred ceremony over 6000 years old, which pays tribute to our great founder Brimir. You will participate." {and that is my excuse for dooming a crazy man who might have a family and friends, to a sad fate. Well, sad in principle, but he may be happy once his brain is mush from rune magic. I need my job, the school needs the funding, and the Vallieres can be one heck of a problem if they hold a grudge.}

Colbert levitated Gary. Gary was held upside down.

"You see Gary, we nobles hold great power. Magic is the reason we are at the top of social hierarchy" {not entirely true. There are many things I am not proud to admit, but I need him to feel helpless and see this false reasoning as truth. It may dissuade him from spitting at Louise or biting her during the contractual kiss.}

Louise approached Gary with a sneer. She pinched his cheek roughly, but found little to pinch. She cupped his muscular jaw, feeling it in her palms, half amazed, and half disgusted, and wholly entranced with how things turned out.

"Feel grateful that a noble like me would allow you to serve me, lowborn commoner. After this binding kiss is over, I will whip you for the embarrassment you've caused me!

"I will punish you…**HARD. **"

Louise emphasized that last bit, part of the emphasis was visual. She unconsciously drooled a bit. And then licked off the drool.

[OH….HELL…NO. I will not be her plaything!]

Was she about to feed him a mind-breaking drug through the kiss? And how was he being held up in the air? He felt no cords or saw any pulley system. He did not doubt it anymore. These people were not professionals in theater arts, they were **REAL **mages. And he was probably stranded in an unknown, god-forsaken land, where slavery and indentured servitude was common.

His intense training with Spotteswoode, love for the idealistic values of his people gave Gary strength to break his arm free of the binding and punch Louise in the nose. She fell to the ground from the force of the punch and began bleeding profusely.

"**OWWW! MY BLOODY** **NOSE!"**

Gary then plunged his arm into his coat and pulled out his Glock 20.

***BANG!***

"**AUgh!"**

Colbert fell down and saw a hole in his knee. The surprise shot hurt. With a grimace, Colbert raised himself up using his staff.

Colbert's broken concentration allowed Gary to fall to the ground and climb to his feet.

"He used his bullet! Take him down!"

Braver students like Tabitha and Kirche started chanting attack spells, while the others fled. At this moment, Gary pulled out a second glock from his coat, and held it in his other hand.

***BANG***

Everyone froze at the second shot. They looked over at Tabitha, the quiet blue haired girl. She clutched at her chest, then collapsed face down on the ground.

Tears fell from Kirche's eyes. Some students threw up as they cried.

Gary stood there with a neutral expression, as if nothing had happened.

"That was a warning shot. I will be leaving. Do not follow me. I do not wish to take hostages, nor lives. Do not make me resort to those methods. I am a free man, and will stay that way."

Kirche hiccuped through tears. "WHY SHOULD WE ALLOW YOU TO LEAVE MONSTER? YOU KILLED TABITHA!"

Tabitha poked Kirche.

"Alive."

"TABITHA! But how? It looked as if he shot you."

"Good book."

She pointed at a damaged hardcover book.

"I knew it! You like them hard and thick!"

"…"

"Where did the crazy man go? He's not here."

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In the commotion, Gary slipped inside the dining hall. It seemed that many courtyard students ran off to lock themselves in some other rooms.

That sat well with him. The less people having visual contact of him, the better. In his information digging, he discovered the distance between the Academy and the nearby towns. It was a bit far by foot. He would be hunted the whole way. Gary decided that perhaps he could lose them in the dense forests nearby. He knew how to ride horses, so maybe he could steal one from the stables he passed by, though it would suck if they had magic and dogs to track him. He was an actor/terrorist fighter, but in this strange land, he lacked access to firepower from Rambo films.

Might as well take some provisions just in case.

Gary headed to the kitchens to stock up on food. Gary grabbed a sack and stuffed it with food. He stabbed knives into uncooked potatoes and brought those along too.

A voice called out on his left side.

"Hey you! Take a frying pan or a pot too!"

Gary leveled a gun in the direction of the voice.

"Whoa! I mean no harm! I wish to help!"

Gary raised an eyebrow.

"Who are you? What are your motives?"

"I'm head chef Marteau, King of the Kitchen! Well…if I were a real king, I would not be a useless or evil sack of flesh ruler. I heard everything from a co-worker watching the summoning spectacle outside. I feel sorry for you. For your defiance, nobles will throw you in a dungeon, and torture you for the remainder of your life. I want you to escape, since I hate the bastards."

"I am from a far-off land where things run differently. Why do you hate the nobility?"

"Nobles are like leeches, sucking the life out of us commoners. We must do as they say, or else. We can't do much about being treated like shit, since their magic is too powerful.

Benign nobles are in the minority. The princess for example, is a brilliant actress. She is _**"kindly, but ignorant"**_ of our plight. Good at pretending to be on the stupid side too I might add. Do not mistake it for naiveté! She lets nobles off with a slap on the wrist for felony crimes against commoners! Just because she depends on their support to stay in power! Many do not care enough to help make change. A smart commoner does not complain except to other commoners since our system is corrupt! Most of us, stand down in fear of our lords leading troops to burn our villages. They rape, and slaughter our people! Nobody is 100% safe from their sick desires.

Which…which is why we need more braves like you. You stood up to them without becoming horribly maimed or killed. You can fight!

Siesta told me you managed to fight a group of students, and even wound a teacher with your guns! Those must be powerful guns, since musket fire does not penetrate basic magic shields nobles can set!"

Gary frowned. The most advanced technology here was quite primitive by his standards.

"I am but one man. I can make a difference, but overturning national powers that have been in place for over 6 millennia sounds like a stretch.

Back where I am from, my people liberated themselves from nobility, lived free for over two centuries, and continue to do so. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are promised rights. We abolished aristocracy for a "majority rules, minority rights" way of governing. We became one of the most powerful countries in the world. It can be done, but for a hefty price in blood, sweat, and tears."

Marteau's forehead wrinkled in contemplation of this information. Gary continued.

"My questions to you are: what are you willing to sacrifice for that freedom? Will you unite people to fight for what you believe in?"

Marteau nodded.

"Hocking loogies and sticking boogies into the foods of snotty brats is not enough. Get it? Snotty? GAHAHA! From here on out, I will dedicate my life to revenge! A dish best served cold! GWAHAHA!"

Gary would sweat-drop, but he's a U.S. citizen. [I don't do that Tojo shit...Spotteswoode's racism is rubbing off on me]

"I won't pry if it is personal. Just don't get carried away, or you may turn out worse than them."

"Doubt it. We should get going. Follow me."

They stopped in a secluded area of the academy. Marteau lifted a metal drainage grate off the ground. He hooked a rope-ladder through a metal ring in the side of carved stone, and dropped it to into the dark abyss. In the other hand, he held a lamp.

"You can escape through the aqueducts. Since you are not from any lands near here, I believe I should leave behind my well-paying job at this academy, in order to guide you, our messiah! I could use a bit of adventure!"

"Marteau…I…wow…thanks!"

"No problem friend. What is your name?"

"Gary."

"Pleased to meet'cha Gary! Call me Pierre!"

"Likewise! Lead the way!"

Our chapter ends with a rogue man almost made a familiar, and the academy's head chef starting a new journey, where their **COURAGE** will be tested. A mysterious cloaked figure stalks them into the school's underbelly. Guess who? That question should not be too quizzical or testicle. Hopes of freedom put the pride in their stride, a bounce in their step. Their ambitions are large, as well as their balls. They are ready to explode their spunk, on the world of **EVIL**. Not like a terrorist or a hooker mind you…well…ummmm….maybe.

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**AN:**

Kim Jong would likely be a more exciting summon.

A shout out to mr I hate znt nobles kill em. I thought of crossing over Team America before writing any stories, but this guy suggested to me the summon of Kim Jong Il. I went with Gary instead, since I would need to research North Korea 1st.

mr I hate znt nobles kill em shares my hate for the silly story premise of medieval-like societies maintaining kingdoms or empires of organized oppression by aristocrats for over 6000 years, without shifts in rule going to the lower classes or drastic restructuring of social hierarchy. When there is a will, and a 1:10 ratio in mage: non mage population difference, there is a way. Of course, many other factors are involved. Might get into that with future chapters.


End file.
